Dementia Related Post

A Dream, or a Memory?

I’m going to describe something I see and then ask you some questions.

I’m standing in the middle of the playground. It slopes down from the top, where there is a small wall and a high metal railing running along the whole length. In the middle of this, is a large metal gate, with a big lock securely fastened and keeping me in.

At the other end, there is a large wall, much higher than me. I cannot see past this. In the middle is a large green door, bolted at the top and bottom and again with a large lock fastened.

Listen as you read along…

In the corner, left of the the green door, is what I know to be a toilet block. I’m in there now. There are these sort of tiled standing areas where you have a pee. It is all wet, and as I look up, I can see the sky, there is no roof.

I’m alone in the playground, not a sound, a smell or anything moving.

To my right is a small set of steps leading up to a door. I can’t see this door, but just inside is a short passageway. This passageway has pegs along each side and above each peg is a bright picture. Mine is a kite; a traditional kite and a flowing tail.

Next, I’m standing in a sink. I’ve no idea why, but somebody is there pulling me around. In front of me is a window that looks out over the passage I’ve just explained. Around the room I’m in, it just seems empty.

I’m now lying on the floor, in that room and there are others too. We are lying on what I can only describe as camp beds. We are covered and sleeping. A familiar sound strikes my ears, ‘You’ve got to get up!’ I see someone going to each bed, tapping the child lying there and repeating those same words each time.

Now a big room. This is the main room. It is painted from top to bottom. Everything is white gloss paint. The room is big, huge, with really high ceilings and massive windows with rope hanging down for the top open window.

It is empty again, silent and still. I’m at one end and looking towards the other. I can see desks all in a line, facing all the same way. There is a large folding wall in the middle of the room. It is partly folded back, but it looks as if it could be closed and the rooms would be two.

There is a basket to the side of me. It is a large wicker basket. Inside there are lots and lots of clothes. Not ordinary stuff, but stuff that you play pretend.

There is a room to the side of this. Again, white and big. There are small sinks along a wall. I can’t see anything else.

I’m now sitting at one of the desks. There are others all around sitting at their desk, and we are all doing the same thing, but quietly. We have two circular pieces of card—each with a hole in the middle. We have to hold the two pieces together, while pushing a long strand of wool through the hole, around the top of the card and back through the hole. We do this until we can get no more wool to go through the hole. It looks like a big ball of wool.

I’m standing at a large desk. The teacher is holding my ball of wool, and with the biggest pair of scissors, I’ve ever seen, cutting into the ball. She quickly cuts between the two pieces of card. I have to hold the ball carefully as she ties a long piece of wool tightly around the ball, between the cards. I’m back at my desk and slowly pulling the two pieces of the card away from each other. I’m now left with a fluffy ball. I hold the long piece of wool and the ball hangs there like a big soft fluffy decoration.

It ends as I’m looking towards the teacher’s desk and hanging above are many fluffy balls.

This is so clear, it is just as if I’m there now!

So this is my question:

Is this a dream, or a memory?

It feels so real, and I know where it is. This is Kettlebrook Infant School. My infant school, but the memories captured are from a time over sixty years ago!

If these are memories, why are they coming back now? Why are they so vivid?

I don’t dream, and when I did, those dreams would drift as fast as I woke.

Is this a Dementia thing, is this a sign of something happening inside my brain. Is it a bad sign? Could it be a good sign that my memory is working better and remembering more?

Lot’s of these moments seem to be flashing back into my mind. Strange ones that I don’t have any idea about. These often feel like they’re a part of that mixed reality I seem to slip between during my everyday.

Whatever they are, they don’t feel complete. I’m not worried, just curious!

Please comment on anything I have said. Thank You!

Categories: Dementia Related Post

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