I woke up today with the strangest feeling, and it has had a profound effect on me! I’ll explain it to you and see what you make of it?
I don’t remember opening my eyes, but my eyes were open. There was no morning call, ‘You’ve got to get up, you’ve got to get up, you’ve got to get up!’ Something I’ve had for as long as I can remember, and expect and is normal to me. I almost missed it!
It was dark, and nothing to see. I was very aware of my body; it felt like an empty shell or container. I had no sensation of lying on the bed or anything else in contact with me; I felt afloat.
The sensation of cold water filling the container that was my body overtook me. I could feel the water rise, starting at the low of my back, legs and head, moving higher towards my chest. That sharpness of breath as the cold got higher and higher. It was very distinctive, like rising on your tiptoes as you walk slowly into a cold pool!
Fear suddenly struck. I wasn’t filling; I was sinking! Slowly submerging, paralysis held me, and I couldn’t move, call or stop it; prone, helpless, and the cold was at my mouth. I was in a large cold, and dark lake. My body rigid and unable to move, yet slowly, so slowly, going down and down, into the black hole of darkness that I knew was death!
As that final freeze was to stop my heart, and I longed to grasp that last mouthful of air, like a bolt of lightening, I was here, awake, in my bed, feeling all and alive! The feeling of euphoria hit me; I was alive! My heart was beating, each breath there and the warmth feeling better than ever I had known.
I was so happy! I was here and would be able to do anything that I wished and could!
Now, I don’t sleep as I think I should. I sleep more sedated. I don’t dream or have the sensation of having a good nights sleep; I’m either out of it, or I’m awake. This could be medication, but I’m unsure.
This is the first month without any changes in medication. My body and mind seem to be settling into a new and better normal state. Maybe this has something to do with the strange morning wake up call.
I’m really feeling good at the moment; that near-death experience seems to have given me a new lease of life!
However, that said, I would prefer to wake up and be happy to be here without going through that ever again!
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