Dementia Related Post

There’s never a good time for this!

I’m talking about death, or more, how we deal with it.

Click and listen if you prefer… you may like my new American accent!?

Some don’t want to talk about it, others don’t see the point, but it seems to be occupying more and more days as I get older and see more friends and family dying.

I’ll start with the word death. It’s a horrible word. We all know what it means, and it is the only certainty of life, but it has darkness, grief and pain associated with it. Over time, the process after death, especially the funeral, has become totally about loss and gain. It has become a long, drawn-out affair to accentuate the pain of losing someone close, but at a great expense. In fact, you are made to believe that if you don’t spend lots, you’re not doing the right thing! Even adverts on the telly are getting in on the act. Does this sound familiar; Have you seen the cost of funerals these days? It’s an Over 50s plan for you when I die, pay for my funeral and maybe something for you. Oh, mum…… I hope you got the right one! That end bit made me laugh. Is the, Oh Mum a nudge at Mum for thinking about her death, or not getting the right policy that pays out the most? Then Mum ends with, ‘And I get a £50 gift card which I can use for little Johnnies birthday. How sweet, What will she use next year, another policy!?

I know it is hard to lose someone close, someone you may have known for most or all of your life, but isn’t it a moment to look back at that time and celebrate that life. You see saying this, doesn’t feel right, but I think that is because of the doctrine about death. So, can we celebrate life after death?

The moment of death is an important point to consider. Ideally, we would all like to live a long and happy life, get old to the point where bodies can no longer keep the ticker going, go to bed, close our eyes, and don’t open them again. That is certainly what I have planned, but the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim. We never know what tomorrow will bring, is most definitely true.

Getting old seems to be a blessing in some ways. We have lived and therefore have more of a life shared and celebrated after we have gone. Losing a child or illness that wasn’t expected is something I can’t contemplate. But to see the magic of life at that moment you shared is special.

If I live a happy life and people are so glad that I’ve shared it with them, I don’t want them to suffer when I’m not here. I don’t want them to mourn my loss but be grateful that I was here in the first place. It seems that it is the memories that we have that will remain and sustain that shared life. We should be able to talk, reflect, laugh and joke about the times gone. To look at photos and not feel sadness, but smile at the time those were taken.

Memories are the key. We should live life to make happy memories. To live to be satisfied at no one’s cost other than your own. To make those memories with those you love and care for. Then, when that moment comes, which it most certainly will, we will have plenty to celebrate a life well lived and loved by all.

This is just my ramblings, and you may not feel the same, but that’s ok; this is my opinion. Your opinion is just as valid and essential, so please share. Maybe get a discussion going and not just a thumbs up!

I never want to hurt or upset anyone, so if I have, please let me know, and I can then say sorry!

Now, what should I wear to the funeral? I was thinking of a white suit and white leather loafers… what do you think?

Categories: Dementia Related Post

2 replies »

  1. So well said! I totally agree with you about celebrating people’s lives. It’s hard to do that immediately after losing someone, but as time goes on those happy memories you share together ease the pain of loss. …. I think you should wear that white suit and loafers! ❤️

  2. I think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in to show and pay your respects and not worry about what others may think.
    If that means a white suit and a pair of white loafers then so be it.
    Love you Cx 💜💜

Leave a Reply